Category: Humor

The Secret to winning the war on terrorism in Afghanistan —- Viagra.

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I must confess, I laughed, quite hard when I read this. 😛

Via the Washington Post:

The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.

Four blue pills. Viagra.

“Take one of these. You’ll love it,” the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.

The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes — followed by a request for more pills.

For U.S. intelligence officials, this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won. While the CIA has a long history of buying information with cash, the growing Taliban insurgency has prompted the use of novel incentives and creative bargaining to gain support in some of the country’s roughest neighborhoods, according to officials directly involved in such operations.

In their efforts to win over notoriously fickle warlords and chieftains, the officials say, the agency’s operatives have used a variety of personal services. These include pocketknives and tools, medicine or surgeries for ailing family members, toys and school equipment, tooth extractions, travel visas, and, occasionally, pharmaceutical enhancements for aging patriarchs with slumping libidos, the officials said.

“Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people — whether it’s building a school or handing out Viagra,” said one longtime agency operative and veteran of several Afghanistan tours. Like other field officers interviewed for this article, he spoke on the condition of anonymity when describing tactics and operations that are largely classified.

[….]

After a long conversation through an interpreter, the retired operator began to probe for ways to win the man’s loyalty. A discussion of the man’s family and many wives provided inspiration. Once it was established that the man was in good health, the pills were offered and accepted.

Four days later, when the Americans returned, the gift had worked its magic, the operative recalled.

“He came up to us beaming,” the official said. “He said, ‘You are a great man.’ “

“And after that we could do whatever we wanted in his area.”

Hey, Whatever works I say.  Although, I’m not sure what is more funny. The story itself, of some of the hilarious comments over at WaPo’s Site.


Funny Video: Sponsor an Executive

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This was sent to me by the smartest Democrat I know………………My Mom.  😀

RedState Update:Blagojevich Has Dirt On Obama?

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Jackie and Dunlap talk to the corruptest, bribe-takin’est governor in all of America– Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. Find out how much it’ll cost to find out Obama’s involvement!

(CONTENT WARNING NSFW!)

Exit Comment: This video solves the riddle of how many times you can put the f-bomb in a video. WOW! 😮

Cyber Jihadists are ticked at facebook…

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Heh… this is too funny.

Via The Jawa Report:

Well, ya know Facebook started a little counter offensive since al-Qaeda supporting terrorist sympathizers vowed to use Facebook to spread Jihadi propaganda.

What was the reaction? They are getting Fatwas!

Go read the rest, please…

Meanwhile, When I read this posting, I thought of this video:

Yeah, I know, I’m an asshole. Thank you very much. 😛

Hell Freezes Over: Keith Olbermann pays a nice complement to…. Michelle Malkin (I Think!)

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Here’s tonight “Worst Person in the World” Segment from Keith’s Show.

Keith is referring to this Segment found here. The Bill O. stuff is comedy gold. I love the facial expressions and Keith hilarious impression of Bill O. who’s actually an impression of the news guy from Mary Tyler Moore’s Show; Ted Baxter, and if you don’t get that connection, you’re either a huge fox fan or a idiot. (or both!)

The Sean Hannity stuff speaks for itself. 😉

Parting Message: Ya’ll over on Hot Air quit picking on AllahPundit, He might be an Atheist, but he is one of the more level-headed people that writes on that Blog. More than I say for the other 2 muscle headed mooks that write over there. 😀 (Did I just write that? 😮 )

Snort Worthy Quote of the Day

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SO I’M GETTING SPAMMED from a dating site called Mate1.com, which I had never heard of. Do they spam like this in general, or has some joker set up a fake account in my name?

If it’s the latter, well, sorry to disappoint you, ladies, but while I may be hyper-masculine, I’m not in the least bit available . . . .

Glenn’s Picture:

432px-glenn_reynolds

Oh Yeah, real stud muffin there man…. 🙄


School Yard Antics: I know you are, but what am I?!?!

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I must confess that I find things like this humorous.

First off, John Stewart did a tribute to Alan Colmes’s departure from the show:

Well, Hannity is not one to be insulted and responded:

Jon Stewart addressed Colmes’ departure on The Daily Show Thursday night (video below), recruiting washed-up 80s pop duo Darryl Hall and John Oates to offer a farewell ditty to the departing Colmes set to the tune of “She’s gone.” The lyrics included this verse: “Alan please don’t go. You’re the only non-douche bag on that show!”

Said Hannity: “I was actually thinking of Jon [Stewart] as a co-host but I needed someone who could be smart and funny without 50 writers and two has-been rockers who are badly in need of Botox.”

Meeeeeooowwwww! Nothing like a bunch of guys acting like women. Nothing at all. 😀

(Source: Media Bistro via HotAir Hotlines)

The Automotive Bailouts: The Other Side of the Story

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I have been sitting here, trying to keep out of this. But I have sat and looked at the Republican and Neo–Conservative Spin on this Story and I’m sick of it. 😡

So, I am giving you, the other side of the story, from the horses mouth; without commentary from me.

I did not ask that you agree, I simply ask that you listen and hear this man out. Now I am almost sure, that the Blogs, that I have linked to, will remove my trackback, like the Neo-Con Fascists that they are. I mean, it is all about controlling the message with those guys.  🙄

Here we go:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Media Q & A:

Media Q & A Part 2:

Media Q & A Part 3:

There you have it. The other side of the story. You decide.

(Source UAW.ORG)

Another Paleo-Conservative Reacts to Kristol’s Column

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Richard Spencer Offers up a bit of tapered response to Bill Kristol’s Column. Which is a bit more calmer than the “Off with his head!” response by some of the Libertarian Bloggers that I read. 😛

Although, I will be first to admit that the title of Richard’s Blog entry almost made me spit my coffee all over my laptop. 😀

Obama’s Questionnaire for the Potential Presidential Pooch

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This is too funny…

J. J. Jackson has a very hilarious questionare that Obama would possibly use for Obama’s White House Dog.

1. Did you donate to my campaign? If so, please list the fictitious name you used to make a donation so that I can determine if it was significant enough to warrant your consideration. Only cash donations count. Sorry, but I cannot consider simply working for my campaign or voice support because, well, we see what happened when I promised a position to Hillary based on her support. Now I have a staff that is starting to look like the Clinton Administration!

2. Have you ever sniffed the butt of a terrorist or a terrorist’s dog?

3. If you answered “yes” or “maybe” or “I’m not really certain, could you define ‘terrorist’?” to the previous question, please provide a detailed account of the incident in question and include a convincing explanation that we could present to the press to explain why the of sniffing the butt in question is not a pertinent issue and should be ignored.

4. Have you ever bitten a liberal? If so, please document the incident fully so that we can see if you are intolerant of liberal ideas or whether this liberal really did deserve to be bitten. Although we highly doubt the later, because liberals are so well intentioned and peace loving that such a claim would be completely unfounded, I will give you an opportunity to prove your innocence in the matter.

5. Have you ever bitten a conservative? If so, please document the incident fully as biting this conservative because he or she was an evil, anti-poor, racist. Biting multiple conservatives would be an even bigger boost to your chances so please make sure to recount all such incidents.

6. Which do you prefer, listening to Rush Limbaugh or Air America?

7. Would you prefer Air America more if we mandated that they hire more canine hosts to discuss dog related issues and the oppression Lupine-Americans suffer at the hands of their human oppressors?

8. Have you ever peed on an undocumented worker?

9. Do you contain any Pit Bull blood in your genetic makeup? If so, please fill out form 7843-C completing addendums N, R, S, U and Z and also authorization form A-1 so that we may perform a mental screening to determine your tendency towards violence.

10. Has any member of your family ever been a German Sheppard?

11. Qualified applicants will be at least 25% of each of the following: Portuguese Water Hound, Shitz-zu, Chihuahua, giraffe, Australian Sheppard, Cornish hen, English Terrier, Daschund, African elephant, Black Labrador Retriever, Indian Elephant, Woolly Mammoth, Poodle, Woozle, Tigger, and Pooh Bear Please verify all claims as to your lineage although validity of documentation will not be checked so forgeries are ok.

12. Do you have only a Certificate of Live Birth or can you fully document your birth in the United States with an actual Vault Copy of your papers? Do not worry, absence of the latter will not be held against you.

13. Have you or any member of your family ever lived in a household where any human being was at any time registered with or donated to the Republican Party? If so, please document all the abuse these evil people visited upon you and list their address. You know … just for record keeping purposes.

14. What religion do you practice? Please be aware that preferential treatment will be given to practitioners of Canine Liberation Theology although you will be required to verify that at no time were you ever actually present during any of your Pastor’s vicious and anti-American rants.

15. Have you ever uttered a racial slur such as, “wooooof,” “woooff,” “woof yelp,” or “bark bark woof” at any time?

16. Please list all other dogs which you consider your friends. Completely document their breeds so that we can determine if your circle of friends (aka your pack) is significantly diverse.

17. If you were left in a room alone with Condoleezza Rice, would you bite her a) because she is a tool of the Republican Party, b) betrayed her gender by serving an evil Republican during his presidency while Republicans were constantly trying to return women to a status of “barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen,” c) a traitor to her race, or d) all of the above?

18. If given the opportunity, would you plant bombs at a police station and attempt to maim and kill law enforcement officers and civilians for the just cause of canine liberation?

19. Explain in not less than 5,000 words why the people of Iraq were not worthy of being helped, how much you were against helping them from the very beginning and how you were the only dog that held such a stance.

20. If asked, what parts of the Constitution would you chose to ignore?

21. Would you be open to the concept of a Canine Defense Force in which all dogs in the United States would volunteer for mandatory service of at least 50 hours a month growling at conservatives to intimidate them?

22. What are your opinions on the following potential sources of energy: oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, wind, solar, biofuel and hydro. No, seriously, because I have no clue what the heck to do come January 20th, 2009. You have no idea what it is like with all these environmental nutcases pulling me in every direction possible. Hey, would you be open to being my Energy Czar by any chance?

23. Describe how evil you think corporations are. The more evil you think they are, the better.

24. I am currently seeking ideas about how to keep Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson off my back for the next four years. Give me your best estimate at how much money I should have Congress earmark for them to keep them quiet.

25. And one final question. Are you hypoallergenic? See, my one daughter is allergic to dogs so you have to be hypoallergenic so as not to cause her any discomfort while allowing me to look like I can relate to the common man and pet owner. Sorry, but my wife made me ask.