Tag: Humor

Domestic Violence lobbyist, Kills Husband

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Alternate headline, “I am against Domestic Violence, but if you give me any crap; I’ll give you some domestic violence!”

A 45-year-old woman, charged with ending a domestic dispute by killing her 26-year-old husband of five days, is a registered lobbyist for a group fighting domestic violence.

Arelisha Bridges was ordered held without bond in the Fulton County Jail. She is scheduled for a preliminary hearing later this month on charges of felony murder, murder, aggravated assault and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony.

Officials said Bridges claimed she was unemployed. But records show she is a lobbyist for an organization called the National Declaration for Domestic Violence Order; its Web site says the group is pushing legislation to create a database of those convicted of sex crimes or domestic abuse.

via Woman charged with killing husband is lobbyist  | ajc.com.

The jokes write themselves.

Oh, and before anyone screams. I am not making light of a man losing his life. That is a terrible tragedy. But I am mocking the woman who pulled the trigger! 😀

Others: JustOneMinute, Confederate Yankee, The Jawa Report, Althouse and QandO

Military Humor

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This comes from the folks over at Patriot Post:

Military Wisdom

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” — Infantry Journal

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.” — US Air Force Manual

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” — General MacArthur

“You, you, and you … Panic. The rest of you, come with me.” — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

“Tracers work both ways.” — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual

“Five second fuses only last three seconds.” — Infantry Journal

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual

“Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.” — Maritime Ops Manual

“Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.” — Unknown Marine Recruit

“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.” — USAF Ammo Troop

“You’ve never been lost until you”ve been lost at Mach 3.” — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)

“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.” —Unknown Author

“If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe.” — Fixed Wing Pilot

“When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.” — Multi-Engine Training Manual

“Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club.” — Unknown Author

“If you hear me yell; ‘Eject, Eject, Eject!,’ the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask ‘Why?’ you”ll be talking to yourself, because you’re the pilot.” — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot

“What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, …. the pilot dies.” — Sign over Control Tower Door

“Never trade luck for skill.” — Author Unknown

“Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.” — Basic Flight Training Manual

“Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!” — Unknown Author

“Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.” — Emergency Checklist

“The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.” — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

“There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.” — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ

“If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.” — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk

“You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.” — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, “What happened?” The pilot”s reply: “I don’t know, I just got here myself!”

—-

Motivation

And now for a cartoon

Funny quote of the day

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Regarding this.

The Funny Quote:

Four hackish thoughts off the top of my head about the president imbibing. (1) It’s probably the only way he can understand Biden. (2) Now we know where that famous mellow temperament comes from. (3) If I had to deal with Reid and Pelosi every day, I’d go straight to heroin. (4) They should put the intervention on C-SPAN.

The underlined one is my favorite one. 😆

Now, that’s funny. 😛

Think that’s funny, you should read the comments over there.

Robert Stacy McCain’s take on CPAC

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Robert Stacy McCain always the shoe leather eating reporter or something like that. Reports on CPAC, which I did not attend:

Reagan Palooza 2010 kept cranking into the wee hours of Sunday morning on Capitol Hill. Young right-wingers were jammed onto the upstairs dance floor of the Hawk ‘n’ Dove where they partied past midnight after the final day of the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.

The fire-code capacity crowd was drenched in sweat as they writhed rhythmically to the thunderous bass beats pumped out by the sound system beneath the strobing disco lights. Several of the 20-somethings were singing along to the lyrics — “This is all so crazy, everybody seems so famous” — when investigative reporter Matthew Vadum nudged me and shouted into my ear, “This is that Hannah Montana song.” Further research (which is to say, a phone call to my daughter, a college junior) confirmed that the reggae-inflected tune was in fact performed by Miley Cyrus, the teenage star of the popular Disney TV series.

“Party in the USA” was certainly appropriate as the soundtrack for this year’s CPAC, where conservatives signaled that they have regained the confidence they lost in the debacle of 2008.

Young and old at CPAC seemed energized by harbingers that the 2010 mid-term elections will produce a GOP triumph, but at least one middle-aged Republican was hesitant to accept the most favorable interpretation of the auspices and omens.

“Frankly, I’m worried,” David Frum said at an earlier Saturday gathering at Murphy’s Grand Irish Pub near the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel that hosted the record-breaking three-day conference. “But then again, I’m always worried.”

Great story, I highly recommend that you go read it. But more importantly, what does it say, when a man who is, what? 150 million years old? Is doing take off’s on a title of a song, by Prince? It must be a reflection of the moral decline in this country. 😉

HotAir.com’s Ed Morrissey Honored by Rush Limbaugh

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I agree 100% with AllahPundit, Ed Morrissey is highly deserving of this honor:

I will admit it, I have not always agreed with Ed. In fact, I have been known to jump his butt, when I thought he needed it. I’ve even flamed him a good one in e-mail once, because I thought he was being unfair, and a bit hypocritical. But, as always, Ed always handled everything with class. I will also make a stunning admission. For a Detroit native former Democratic party voter. I agree with a good 90% of what Ed writes.

Ed Morrissey is one of the more saner voices in the Right Wing Blogosphere. He does not go for the paranoid, shrieking headlines, that grace such places as, maybe, WorldNetDaily and some of the other Right Wing sites out there. He goes for the truth; and the my friends is a rarity on our side of the fence.  It all boils down to a simple thing that is not found in Journalism or even politics much anymore. That simple thing is integrity. This is why Ed’s work is better than most, the man has integrity. Even if you do not agree with his political point, that he might be trying to score —- you do have to admit that he does speak the truth.  That my friends goes a long way in writing, in blogging and in life in general.

So, yeah, Ed’s a good man. But the next time he writes something stupid about G.M or the unions — Oh, It’s on baby. 😉 😛 😀 😆

Mittons Romney almost gets his butt kicked, by a Canadian

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HEH! 😀

Republican politician Mitt Romney was physically threatened by a violent passenger on an Air Canada flight leaving Vancouver this morning.

Mr. Romney, who has been in Vancouver since Friday for the Olympic Winter Games, did not respond to the attack. Instead, he allowed the airline crew to deal with the incident, according to his spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom.

Mr. Romney, 62, and his wife, Ann, were sitting in Row 15 of the economy section of the Embrarer 190 airplane, waiting for the plane to take off when the incident happened.

The man sitting in front of Mr. Romney’s wife dropped his seat back and when Mr. Romney asked him to move it upright for takeoff, the man became “physically violent.” Another report said that the man tried to strike Mr. Romney.

“Gov. Romney did not retaliate,” said Mr. Fehrnstrom.

Mr. Romney was not injured. The pilot returned to the gate and the passenger and his bags were removed by the RCMP.

via Romney threatened on flight out of Vancouver – The Globe and Mail.

I guess that will teach him to tell people what to do. Them Canadians are not too keen on Americans telling them what to do. I know this first hand, as I only live about 20 miles or so from the Canadian border. (Windsor Area.)

I’m sorry the guy didn’t at least get in a good punch or two. 😛

Could you see him on a TV show, with a shiner?!?! HEH! 😉 😛 😀

Breaking News, Massive Snow Storm Lands in my neighborhood

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and of course, I have video:

and pictures too!

Yes, We were hit by a snow storm

Nothing we Michigan people cannot handle.. (well, some of us!)

Yes, that is as cold as it looks. Especially that WIND... Oy!

Snow Shovels and Fishing Poles --- You can obviously see where my Dad's priorities are at.

A sure sign of Certified Hillbilly, A box fan on a front page, In the middle of winter! 🙂

A left over from the days when I actually worked for a living. My Briefcase. It is a truckers dream. I put every damn thing in that briefcase. I miss those days of driving... 🙁

Dad's truck. My Car was down the street on the side road, Snow Emergency and tickets cost money

Ye old backyard, Cold and quite snowy...

Jon Steward does the O’Reilly Factor

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I posted part of this last night. Here is a the complete interview, both parts.

Update: I would remiss, if I did not quote this:

That’s a cute point he makes about the progression (or non-progression) from Richard Reid to Abdulmutallab over the course of eight years, but what about Madrid, the London bombings, or even the NYC subway plot that was busted in September? He’s either awfully ill informed or awfully glib about the severity of the threat. Two: Laying aside his bizarre shrugging at nuclear proliferation among jihadist states, in which dimension of reality did he discover that Iran is reliably, conclusively, indubitably “self-preservationist”? Given the regime’s intent on maintaining its own power at all costs, including by murdering protesters, there’s no reason to think it wouldn’t do something rash if it felt that power slipping from its fingers. What does it have to lose by firing a missile at Israel under those circumstances?

That is coming from someone, that was, not somewhere in Mid-America when the twin towers were hit; but like within a mile of the towers, when the planes went in. Many people do not get AllahPundit. I do, and this posting here, will help you understand him as well. I remember being scared out of my mind, when I got the news, that there was a plane on the way to the White House, that plane was flight 93. I could never even begin to imagine the horror of it being in my own town. Closest thing is the failed Detroit terrorist attack. I give AllahPundit, for all of his stuff that I do not agree with; mad props for being brave enough to stand up and say this sort of a thing and for continuing to Blog against Terrorism, and Jihad, despite being threatened. Good Job my friend and keep it up.