An Obama Funny

(Via E-mail)

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, “I want to go to Disneyland.” Barack said, “No problem, I’ll take you there on my special airplane.”

The second kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.”

Barack said, “I’ll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!”

The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!”

Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, “But you don’t look like you’re handicapped.”

The kid said, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!”

Cartoons of the Day

See No Evil?

See No Evil?

For more fun visitย the website/blog at www.diversitylane.com or go directly to the blog at www.diversitylane.wordpress.com.


Bill O’Reilly’s Talking Points: Why Obama should hire me

Yes, he did say that.

(H/T Comcast Video)

Now Honestly, does Bill O. really believe that the Obama Administration would take him up on the offer? I doubt it. But it does make for some lighthearted commentary…. and considering what we have had to report as of late; a little humor is okay.

Of course, the Liberals will not get this at all. They never do.

Now, h

Don’t mince words now

Seen over at Ace’s:

Obama and the Democrats don’t ask much. Only that Republicans take the political hit for their political program so that they can vote the safe Republican way on it.

This has nothing to do with health care per se. What is really being asked here is not that Republicans “help” with ObamaCare, but that Republicans actually assist Democrats in being elected in 2010.

Um, I personally am going to have to go ahead and decline that particular request. That seems to me — and pardon me if I am a bit rude about this — to be you all’s fucking problem, and not ours.

Damn. Thought I was grumpy old cuss. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜†

(H/T to Little Miss Whatsherface)

Cartoons of the Day

Emergensea?

Emergensea?

<p>Grave Situation?</p>

Grave Situation?

For more fun visitย the website/blog at www.diversitylane.com or go directly to the blog at www.diversitylane.wordpress.com.

For more fun, check out Baloo’s Cartoon Blog

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It is official: Keith Olbermann is a pussy

Oh Wow:

MSNBC boasted that on election night they would present a “special live edition of Countdown” at 10:00 pm. But with bad news for the Democrats in Virginia and New Jersey, a funny thing happened on the way to the bonus Hour of Spin. Keith wasn’t there! After a live update (not from Olby but from Lawrence O’Donnell) A-Mess-NBC (“the place for politics”) proceeded to rerun the 8:00 pm showing.

via Olbermann Watch – MSNBC’s Countdown with Keith Olbermann: Where in the World Was Keith Olbermann?.

There is an unconfirmed rumor that he was somewhere in central park, sodomizing a small boy. But that’s just a rumor…. and we don’t report unfounded rumors around here…. much.

Others: Weekly Standard, Townhall.com and National Review Online

Robert Stacy McCain flips his cork

In public no less…:

UPDATE II: While I was working on the first update, about 10 p.m., the phone rang here at the National Desk in Watertown. It was Dave Weigel of the Washington Independent, asking about our plans for a bit of post-deadline socializing. And I freaking lost it.

Some of my friends may remember my newsroom blowup in 2007, when I cussed out Ken Hanner and kicked a steel door open on my way out of the Washington Times. Persuaded to reconsider, I eventually quit on good terms in January 2008.

OK, I’m hell on deadline. And my own shortcomings and sins are so glaringly obvious that it’s hard for me to blame anyone else for my problems. I goof off and procrastinate when opportunity affords. But when deadline hits, I get kind of crazy. So this was all my fault. Mea culpa.

Still, sometimes, I get that Rodney Dangerfield don’t-get-no-respect feeling and, under pressure, I can be even more of a total jerk than usual. Think of General Patton slapping that shell-shock case in Sicily.

So I had a screaming conniption. Impatient by nature, what I wanted to do at that moment in time was to finish the update, so that readers would have context in which to interpret the video. What I did not want to do was to answer the phone and have to think about the questions that Dave Weigel was asking about our post-deadline party plans.

Present at the time in the smoke-filled hotel room that is the National Desk were Ali Akbar, Kerry Picket and Hooah Mac. Surely, one of them would do me the favor of taking the phone and dealing with Weigel’s questions. Uh . . . no. Because nobody owes me any favors.

And I freaking lost it. At one point in the two-minute rant that ensued, I was quite literally frothing at the mouth. A lifetime of personal frustration exploded upon friends who were innocent. For this unseemly tantrum, I apologize to all who were forced to witness it. Mea culpa.

However, next time I ask someone to please answer the phone while I’m on deadline — I pray to God — just answer the phone. That Jekyll-and-Hyde horror show was more frightening to me than it was to you, my victims. My wife will bake you brownies to compensate, and will never let me live it down.

via The Other McCain: NY23: Hoffman is asked to react to Limbaugh’s Dede ‘bestiality’ comment.

You know, we really need to get that guy on the patch and maybe even some Prozac. It could only help. What? Why are you looking me like that for? I’m as calm as cucumber, the sharpest spoon in the drawer, The —- okay, I’ll stop while I’m ahead. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Islamic Militants discover new foe, bears!

Oh, this is almost too funny to believe!

This comes via the BBC:

A-Bear-RoaringTwo other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants were armed with AK-46s but were taken by surprise – police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

[…]

AIA048The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear’s den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed.

The dead have been identified as Mohammad Amin alias Qaiser, and Bashir Ahmed alias Saifullah.

News of the attack emerged when their injured comrade went to a nearby villageRoaringBear-main_Full for treatment.

“Word spread in the village that Qaiser had been killed by the bear,” another police officer said.

A joint party of the police and army personnel went into the forest and collected the bodies of the two militants.

Police say they also recovered two AK-46 rifles and some ammunition from the hideout.

Can you just imagine that little scene for a minute? Those guys sitting in the cave; talking all about Terrorism and how that Muslims must dominate the world. —- “Allah Akbar! We Muslims must fight, we mus ——- Aaaaahhh!ย  Bear! Run for your lives!”

Oh Man, that’s pee in the pants funny!

I guess the true moral of this story is; if you want to get your Jihad on, don’t do it in a bear cave. Because the last time I checked, Bears are not Muslim — just usually hungry.

Others covering this rather funny story: The Jawa Report and JammieWearingFool

Team Army at Valour IT needs our Help!

I have not really promoted it that heavily; mainly because I have not really thought about it.

But your help is requested…

Here’s the e-mail that I received:

Subject: An Affront to All that is Good and Pure in the World

I’m talking about the marines.

Team Marines is leading Team Army by a lousy few thousand dollars.ย  This simply must not stand.

First, let me thank all of you who have posted on behalf of Team Army.ย  Second, I apologize for the lack of commo and cooordination (blame my scout background) as I just received the email list yesterday and am recovering from the flu.

So, here are someย assets to use in posting about Valour-IT for Team Army:

Team Army donation page: Click Here

Ballad of Captain Z video: Click Here
(you can get the embed codes on that page).

Cox & Forkum Carton: attached to this email (we have permission to use but it would also be nice to link to them – Click here ).
Now this is where Mr. Blackfive thinks that I should be mocking Marines. What kind of idiot does he think I am? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ I mean, most of those guys are muscle bound menaces; and besides that, I cannot run worth a darn. IYKWIMAITYD!
Anyhow, here’s the videos, THAT I GOT FROM BLACKFIVE!

If you have any assets you want to share, email me and I’ll send them to the group.
Thanks!
Go ARMY!
Matt


Matthew Burden
“BlackFive”

Yeah, what he said! ๐Ÿ˜€

Seriously folks, it is going for a very good cause… So, if you would, Click here and give what you can.

Little Green Screwballs attacks Hoffman

Not a very big surprise… But it’s news.

Looks like the libtards over at little green screwballs are having a hissy fit over the fact that Hoffman took the 9/12 pledge.

Which reminds me why I just LOVE the picture here:

Little Chucky hates being ignored

Little Chucky hates being ignored

Others: Stop The ACLU, The Jawa Report, American Power

Update: SuperLady links in. Thanks Pamela! ๐Ÿ˜€

Blogging on one mug of coffee after a long night can be hazardous to ones health

I just pushed out my first posting and noticed two very humorous typos.

Oy… ๐Ÿ™„

One of these days, I will learn; don’t blog until you have enough coffee in your system. Blogging while still waking up can have some unintended consequences. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I got to cut out those late nights. Facebook games are just not that important.

GM OnStar Humor

Heh… Now this is funny:

Via AutoBlog:

On its way to doing the 1/4-mile in 11.07 seconds at 128 mph, a Hennessy-tuned 700-horsepower Cadillac CTS-V hit .99 longitudinal G as it left the start line. By the end of the run the phone inside the car was ringing, and it was your friendly neighborhood OnStar representative wondering “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ok, not quite… but they did have some questions

(H/T Say Uncle)

Feminist Nazis come out against President Obama

Oh brother…. Ol’ floppy ears can’t do anything right —- or make anyone happy for that matter!

Via the NYT:

WASHINGTON โ€” Does the White House feel like a frat house?

The suspicion flared in recent weeks โ€” and not for the first time โ€” after President Obama was criticized by womenโ€™s advocates and liberal bloggers for hosting a high-level basketball game with no female players.

The president, after all, is an unabashed First Guyโ€™s Guy. Since being elected, he has demonstrated an encyclopedic knowledge of college hoops on ESPN, indulged a craving for weekend golf, expressed a preference for adopting a โ€œbig rambunctious dogโ€ over a โ€œgirlie dogโ€ and hoisted beer in a peacemaking effort.

He presides over a White House rife with fist-bumping young men who call each other โ€œdudeโ€ and testosterone-brimming personalities like Rahm Emanuel, the often-profane chief of staff; Lawrence Summers, the brash economic adviser; and Robert Gibbs, the press secretary, who habitually speaks in sports metaphors.

The technical foul over the all-male game has become a nagging concern for a White House that has battled an impression dating to the presidential campaign that Mr. Obamaโ€™s closest advisers form a boysโ€™ club and that he is too frequently in the company of only men โ€” not just when playing sports, but also when making big decisions.

While the senior adviser Valerie Jarrett is undeniably one of the presidentโ€™s closest White House confidantes, some women inside or close to the administration complain that Mr. Obamaโ€™s female advisers are not as visible as their male colleagues or, they suspect, as influential.

โ€œWomen are Obamaโ€™s base, and they donโ€™t seem to have enough people who look like the base inside of their own inner circle,โ€ said Dee Dee Myers, a former press secretary in the Clinton administration whose sister, Betsy, served as the Obama campaignโ€™s chief operating officer.

Ms. Myers said women have high expectations of the president. โ€œObama has a personal style that appeals to women,โ€ she said. โ€œHe is seen as a consensus builder; he is not a towel snapper and does not tell crude jokes.โ€

Memo to the Nazi Feminist Bitches: It’s a guy party and your fat, nasty, hoe asses are not invited; now please, get the hell over it and move the hell on!

NEXT!

Others: Vox Popoli and American Power

NY23 Update

For all of you that give a hoot about what’s happening up in upstate New York’s NY23 special election. There are a good amount of updates.

Robert Stacy McCain’s Blog is on top of it. Please, Go Here, Here, Here, and Here.

Check this woman’s nutty Presser:

…and finally from Day By Day with Chris Muir:

Rush Limbaugh speaks out on the N.F.L. Controversy

Rush Limbaugh gets the last word:

As I explained on my radio show, this spectacle is bigger than I am on several levels. There is a contempt in the news business, including the sportswriter community, for conservatives that reflects the blind hatred espoused by Messrs. Sharpton and Jackson. “Racism” is too often their sledgehammer. And it is being used to try to keep citizens who don’t share the left’s agenda from participating in the full array of opportunities this nation otherwise affords each of us. It was on display many years ago in an effort to smear Clarence Thomas with racist stereotypes and keep him off the Supreme Court. More recently, it was employed against patriotic citizens who attended town-hall meetings and tea-party protests.

These intimidation tactics are working and spreading, and they are a cancer on our society.

via Rush Limbaugh: The Race Card, Football and Me – WSJ.com.

Personally, I have tried to avoid writing about this controversy; because quite frankly, I found it all to be a bit absurd. However, it is fitting to note, that the left has always engaged in this sort of politically correct McCarthyism since about the 1960’s. To be fair and balanced, Rush did make a comment back in the 1970’s; that was totally and wildly inappropriate, when he told a black caller, who was having trouble hearing him or understanding him, to call him back, when he got the bone out of his nose. That was totally racist and should have gotten him fired. However, Rush did express regret for making the comment.ย  Further more, Rush state that he felt a particular player to be totally overrated; because in his words, “people always want to see a African-American succeed.” Many people felt that to be racist, but Rush was simply expressing his opinion.ย  Which, last time I checked, was not a Federal crime in this Country of ours.

Some Conservative Bloggers are not taking the news of Rush getting dumped well at all. Jack Moss, who runs Macsmind is pulling out all the stops:

I love the game of football too, but today I walked every bit of NFL gear out to the dumpster and tossed it. Additionally my participation is more than nominal – I will not mention to the extent – but I’m canceling that as well. But I can’t do it on my own.

I’m calling for conservative bloggers everywhere to follow suit. Rush listeners called in droves this week talking about canceling season tickets, and NFL packages on cable and dish TV.

The NFL is in a crunch right now trying to squeak out dollars everywhere. This is the time to hit them, when they are down and get the message to them loud and clear that we are not going to tolerate this discrimination against conservatives.

Pass the word, do your duty conservatives.

While I admire Jack’s courage and taking of this issue very seriously. I think he might be going overboard, just a tiny bit. Me personally, I never have been a huge football fan. To be quote honest; I find football hopelessly and extremely boring. I just do not understand the entertainment value of watching mostly African-American, steroid laden men, running up and down a field chasing a ball and beating each other senseless to get control of said ball. It must be in my wiring; because quite frankly, I just do not get it at all. Baseball; that is another story. Hit the ball, head for the bases and hope like hell that the outfielders cannot catch. That I get, but football — I just do not get the concept. Nor do I care to. To me it seems to be a bit of a base sport, that requires muscles and not much brains; which possibly explains why many African-Americans play it. ๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Did I say that? ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Others: Macsmind, Sister Toldjah, Vox Popoli, NewsBusters.org, Riehl World View American Thinker via Memeorandum

Hey! What’s Glenn Beck got against good speakers?

I kid of course…. But this video is quite funny. Especially Glenn’s mocking of Chris Matthews: (H/T AP)

Of course, Mediaite thinks Glenn ought to do SNL. Somehow, I doubt that Glenn will ever appear on that show. Just a hunch.

Speaking of Chris Matthews, Here’s Mr. leg tingles basically apologizing for his assassination jerk off fantasies: (H/T AP)

I agree with AllahPundit here; the dude lets his mouth outrun his brain. He has done this before. So, I’m willing to cut him some slack. However, I will point out, that me and AP are not the same person. I am much better looking. What? You don’t believe me? You ever see that guys mug shot on twitter; Oy. He’d scare a cat off a gut wagon! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜†