Some of you do not understand why it is, that I so against Abortion, even to the point where I will do not debate it.
Well, please, go read this article here.
The doctor left the room and Steven came in. He told me that I needed to have an abortion because of the smoke damage to my lungs and the oxygen deprivation I had suffered. I said “No,” I wanted the baby. I was five-months pregnant. I could not believe he was even asking me to have an abortion at this stage. He spent over an hour pressing me to go ahead and have the abortion. He said that I was too young to have a baby and it would have brain damage because I had been in the fire and taken drugs. I became very quiet and repeated the answer “No” more than once. I said I should not be asked to make that decision while still in the hospital. He said I had to have the abortion now. He said I was too far along to wait because it would be illegal for me to get an abortion in another week.
He sat beside my hospital bed, but we did not look at each other. I said no again. Finally he gave up and said, “OK, you can go home to your mother’s and have the baby there.” I was worn out and began to feel hopeless. My mother and stepfather would not be happy to have me return home pregnant. I believed they would also want me to have an abortion. I began to feel like life was caving in on me. I had no health insurance or money and did not believe Steven intended to help provide for our baby or me. He had not been providing medical care for me up to that time. I believed he was abandoning me as my father and my mother had. I began to cry and agreed to have the abortion. Steven was relieved and happy. He reassured me that he cared for me and that after the abortion everything would be fine.
I was moved to another part of the hospital and a different doctor performed the abortion. It was a horrible nightmare I will never forget. I was traumatized by the experience. My baby had one defender in life; me, and I caved in to pressure because of fear of rejection and the unknown future. I wish I could go back and be given that chance again, to say no to the abortion one last time. I wish with all my heart I could have watched that baby live his life and grow to be a man.
The doctor did not explain what the procedure would be like. Steven watched when the doctor punctured my uterus with a large needle. Then I was taken to a room to wait for the contractions. Steven sat beside me in the hospital until it was over. When the nurse would leave the room he was snorting cocaine on the table beside my bed. He even offered some to me once, but I just turned away, sick inside. Steven, high on cocaine, was emotionally detached, witnessing the procedure but cut off from the normal reaction and feelings of horror you would expect. At the time I was shocked and hurt by his behavior.
But I know now that on an unconscious level, he must have been traumatized witnessing the death of his first-born son in such a horrific and direct way. Steven watched the baby come out and he told me later, when we were in New Hampshire, that it had been born alive and allowed to die. (I was not allowed to see the baby when it was delivered.) Steven told me later that it had been a boy and that he now felt terrible guilt and a sense of dread over what he had done. I did not know that such a thing could be legal. I could not imagine a world where a tiny baby could be born alive and tossed aside as worthless without ever seeing his mother’s face.
Nothing was ever the same between us after that day, though I did not return home for over a year. I became very quiet and withdrawn after the abortion. I was grieving the loss of my baby and I could never look at Steven again without remembering what he had done to our son and me. I had just lived through a horrific fire that nearly claimed my life, but the abortion made me feel like part of me died with my baby. I felt cheated and betrayed, and angry with myself for agreeing to something that I knew was wrong. I felt deep anger and almost hatred for the doctor who performed the abortion.
Everyone around me seemed to be moving on with life, but I was carrying a wound that would not go away. Steven was already involved with other women at that time. The fact that he was my guardian complicated things for him because he was legally responsible for me. I was young, had dropped out of high school, and did not understand my legal rights at the time. I felt completely powerless.
I left Steven in February 1977 and returned to live with my mother and stepfather. Steven called a few times after I returned home and then I never heard from him again.
Now, I very, very, highly recommend, in the strongest terms that I can convey in writing; that you go read the rest of that story.
Anyone that does not see this, and think twice about having an Abortion; does not have a damned soul. Abortion is murder and it is a sick, twisted mindset that allows that barbaric practice to continue. I will, as a Christian, and as a Conservative blogger, continue to write against, advocate against and continue to use this blog to raise awareness of the barbaric practice of abortion. It is barbarism and it must be stopped.
However, as a libertarian Conservative, I object to using the power of the Federal Government to stop the practice of abortion; however, I fully and wholeheartedly support a grassroots effort to stop the practice of abortion on the State level. This was a battle that pro-lifers, Conservatives and Christians alike fought in the 1980’s and ultimately lost; because they were, in this writers opinion fighting the battle in the wrong arena. It is my belief that Federalism should be applied across the board, in relationship to all matters and subjects. Not just on the subjects we choose to apply them.
The battle for the Soul of America, including the battle for the protection of unborn life is a noble one, it is a Christian one, it is a righteous one; and it must be fought by those with Godly wisdom and knowledge of laws and practice. We must as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. Fighting this fight foolishly and with wrong ideas, leads to waste. In this late hour, waste is not an option.
(A special thank you of the highest order goes to a one Robert Stacy McCain for bringing light to this Story. Even thought Mr. McCain, “sold me up the river” a while back. I will be the Christian and give him credit where it is due.)